Quality Isn’t a Joke
Our apparel is built to outlast your enthusiasm for modern life. Because the only thing that won’t fade is your cynicism.
Shipping, Eventually
Your order is on its way. In the meantime, you can stay in your pajamas and avoid people. Good things (and sarcastic ones) take time.
A Warranty Nobody Reads
We promise that if anything goes wrong, we’ll be just as annoyed as you are. But don’t worry, our shirts are designed to not disappoint. Unlike most things.
Find Your Mood
The Latest Additions
Because everyone needs new stuff to ignore
Not Lost, Just Portlanding Sweatshirt
Perfect for the comfortably lost
Existential Crisis Club T-Shirt
Because everyone needs a club to join
Your favorite t-shirt is running on 1%
Team No Ambition Hoodie
All goals considered optional
Emails Own My Soul Hoodie
This hoodie knows the struggle
Climbing is my Therapy Sweatshirt
Therapy that doesn’t talk back
Tote Bags for Every Mood
Recent Thoughts
Because we all need more things to be cynical about.
10 Gifts for the Person Who Would Rather Not Receive Gifts
Because sometimes, the best gift is peace.
5 Must-Have Pieces for People Who Hate People
The official uniform for your next social retreat.
3 Bad Habits That Are Actually Good for You (According to the Science of Laziness)
And here you thought you were doing something wrong.
Social Battery T-shirt